Doing midnight worship might not only annoy the neighbours, it also hurts my brain ...

So tonight was amazing, when I finally made it back to college after a very diverted walk home, it was making it on for midnight, which is far past my exam-term bed time. But I thought I would do some work, which quickly turned to worship, and the discovery of this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vhso5lB0h6E

So when you decide worship is more important than sleep, a lot of things seem to happen, but I am pretty sure some of them weren’t meant just for me.

So after a rather intense few hours of writing, praying and God answering a prayer right in front of my eyes (come on), he directed me to three bible verses. Two of which really linked to some of the things I was discussing with people about last night. So, as they seem to explain stuff to me and convince me of quite a few things, I thought it might be good to share them.  

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Firstly (well it was the second one but you get me): Thessalonians 1: 2-10.

From verse 3: “We continually recall before God our father the things you have done because of your faith and the work you have done because of your love. And we thank him that you continue to be strong because of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. Brother and sisters, God loves you, and we know he has chosen you, because the Good News we brought to you came not only with words, but with power, with the Holy Spirit and with sure knowledge that it is true. Also you know how we lived when we were with you in order to help you. And you became like us and like the Lord. You suffered much, but still you accepted the teaching with the joy that comes from the Holy Spirit. So you became an example to all the believers..”

I think this is now one of my favourite chapters in the bible. I think it is really powerful for all growing Christians, not only for me, but I can see bits relevant to so many of the people (including myself) I have spoken to tonight.

So I focused in on four particular sections:

Firstly I think that when you see someone remain strong in Christ it is really inspiring, it also what we aspire to do. It is so hard to put God above all our pain and stress at big things, or other little things like exam term, but if we can trust and remain in God then life is so much better and we can strive to do so much more.  

Secondly, I must have spent hours talking to a really amazing girl yesterday about how we were both searching for love in Christ. You can have so much love from him but sometimes something is missing, and we were speculating what that was. Now the rest of that conversation will stay private but a reminder that he loves you is never a bad thing for either of us, or any of you, because hey he does love every one of us like crazy.

Thirdly, the power of the Holy Spirit is absolutely amazing. Last night he was working like crazy in the service and in the prayer, it was absolutely insane to watch. I don’t know if many of you have been asked “how do you know it is all true?” and I think this can tell us why. It is true because we can feel the Holy Spirit in it, and we can just pray that other people can feel that too.

Finally, a lot of people I know at church have suffered a lot, yet they look so happy while worshipping, which is really cool. So whether the suffering is really big things, or just quite small problems that crop up, finding the Holy Spirit is a sure way to bring a smile to your face and strength to your heart. It is also what we hope can come to those of our friends who are really struggling right now in situations far out of our depth, so this felt like a pretty cool direction for prayer.

So that verse provided me with a lot of comfort, but I also think it can provide a lot of comfort and inspiration for a lot of us out there.

And finally: Philippians: 3: 13-21:

“I do not mean that I am already as God wants me to be. I have not yet reached that goal, but I continue trying to reach it and to make it mine. … there is one thing I always do. Forgetting the past and straining towards what is ahead. I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above. All of us who are spiritually mature should think this way too. And if there are things you do not agree with, God will make them clear to you. But we should continue following the truth we already have. … But our homeland is heaven, and we are waiting for our Saviour..”  

Now in the service today I realised the importance of living in the present, and to try and stop dreaming about plans God may have for me. But this has reminded me to also stop living in the past. As well as being a dreamer, I am also a massive hoarder, so that is pretty good advice.

It is also really hard in our lives to forget human desires and truly focus on living to get to heaven. However much we want to do this, there will always be those temptations surrounding us. This was another topic of conversation tonight and this is truly a verse which just reminds us why this is so important. It also says God will explain why certain things are so important, so whatever the things that are troubling us that is really comforting.

I also think, as linked to the last blog, this is just a reminder that even the spiritually mature are still not perfect. Everyone is on a long journey to heaven and they will have good days, and bad days with God.

While talking about this yesterday, I used an analogy to try and explain my rather jumbled brain. I am not sure if it is spiritually accurate, and I do believe in unity with Christian friends but: If you were in a relationship with a boy, and someone sat in on every date it wouldn’t be okay. If that person then continued to analyse every part of your relationship and to tell you what you were doing right or wrong, that wouldn’t be cool. So why do we think it is with God? Yes we can provide advice but our relationship with God is private and unique (hence the very small proportion shared in this), and not to be compared with others.

Now I am almost certain that this verse wasn't meant for me alone, and I am also pretty sure that the sections I took from it aren’t exactly what suits to others. So I really hope someone out there has got something else from this.  

Finally (really finally), I think that it is really important to look outside Christian-specific stuff for inspiration, and this song came up in a totally non-Christian natter yesterday, but then I realised it is actually a REALLY COOL COMING TO GOD SONG. I am sorry if I have missed an inappropriate lyric somewhere but I think it is AWESOME, I also love Rudimental so that probably helps:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M97vR2V4vTs

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So last night’s worship session was beyond intense and some prayer to understand and follow the other stuff he threw would be amazing, but I hope that I was right in thinking that maybe not all those bible verses were directed just at me. Otherwise writing this all up at some ridiculous hour in the morning would feel rather pointless HA. God Bless xo. 

I haven't got it down, not even close -- why comparing yourself to others isn't the way to go.

I recently wrote a testimony for my friend Mike. It was basically the post about the waterfall. I re-read through it today and though "how was I that with it?". 

Right now I feel like I have lost my sea legs and my life is an ocean. Life is rocky to say the least. Stress is my main feeling and stuff feels tough (woo I rhyme). 

The thing is that I have been trying to hold on to that feeling of a couple of weeks ago when I felt love and peace. I still feel love. Today my day went from bad to worse. I asked some people to pray for me and it suddenly felt better, well more manageable anyway. 

I suppose what I am trying to say is that when I read that testimony I thought it made me sound like I have got it down. I know what I am doing, which isn't exactly the case. 

Every time I talk to a Christian, and even a non-Christian friend, they give me advice. I live off this advice. The advice to take some time out, or the prayers they can give. They always seem so much more developed. 

I think what worries me is that someone said that to me, they said I seemed like I had it down. I was shocked, but also worried. 

If we spend all our time comparing ourselves to each other then we haven't really got our priorities right. It is one of my main things: there is a guy who sounds like he is speaking the word of God with every word, there is another one who can heal people, there is a girl who seemed so pure, another who inspired me, a girl who felt on fire... All of these people are amazing, they are all so in touch with God, well they seem so to me.

But comparing myself to them isn't going to help. Yes they can inspire me to improve, to spend more time in prayer, but everyone does the God thing their own way. 

I think this really hit home with that testimony, because I must have written that on a really good day. 
Yes, if I wrote one today I would still talk about BFF Jesus, and the love, the singing etc etc, but maybe I would mention the perpetual cycle of sin. The fact that my head is always full of an argument for and against that sin. "But it would be fun" vs "Hello SIN SIN SIN". That stuff didn't come across and I thought maybe that part is a bit important. I haven't got it down. Far from it. I might have figured out another piece in the jigsaw, but I probably lost a few more this week. 

I think now I understand when these people have looked at me and laughed when I say I find them inspiring, because though I publicise my mistakes, they probably have some skeletons around too. 

In summary of this rather ridiculous ramble: I think when God says fellowship and the big word UNITY, what he is trying to say is SUPPORT! We are meant to support and inspire one another, we are meant to be there when the world is getting tough, we are meant to draw us nearer to him through each other. It isn't a competition of who can closest to God. That would just be a bit silly. 

No you are not better than anyone else, you just got lucky.

 Have you ever met a judgemental Christian? They are my pet hate. They seriously annoy me. I just think if someone judges others then they are not exactly acting like Jesus. Jesus helped prostitutes. He helped criminals. It was the Pharisees that he left well alone. They were the ones who killed him.

I think one mistake it is easy to make is to think that all Non-Christian things are Non-Christian.

Take music for example. Of course worship music is Christian but so are other songs. I can only get Radio 1 in the shower and at first I was annoyed. Then I started listening. Of course 'I just had sex' or 'S & M' aren't exactly holy in nature. But try listening to other songs and you will find the majority seem full of Christian messages.

Take films. I went to see Noah yesterday and that has been called blasphemous by Muslims. So yes maybe fallen angels aren't stuck in rock. Maybe they aren't meant to be visible, but it sure was refreshing that angels were feared in a film. The film started with Bible verses. It took you through the range of emotions the Bible does. It filled you with respect for God's mighty power. When I walked out that film I was in shock. It was so religious and that is what the people I went with commented on. No one expected, especially with the reviews, for it to feel like you had just stepped into the bible. So it might be Hollywood but go and see it.

You can't protect yourself by hiding away. That isn't what God wants. You can't spend your life thinking of yourself as better as saved. That is arrogance. You are not.God is what's is better and the only way to spread his word is to get out there and show your kindness, show that you don't judge. People aren't going to come to God if Christians don't seem relatable and in touch. I think that is a very important thing.

We may live in a world full of sin. We may have porn. We may have plastic surgery. We may have hunting. Noah depicts this and so does the media around us. But the majority of people live a Christian life even without God. They do not kill. They try not to be jealous. They don't cheat. Quite a few probably sin less than us. So no we are not better. We should not hide away from temptation. We have been blessed with God's presence so we are lucky. But he has sent us to show his love to the world. Not by forcing it down people's throats or telling people they are going to hell. But by loving our neighbour and helping the world to not live in sin.