What it feels like to run away from God - according to Passenger.

So this blog is based on ‘Let her Go’ by Passenger. It is about deciding to leave God, the times I have been away and why it always feels better when you go back.

At Life Group on Tuesday I used an example of being a child on one of those baby reigns. You keep running away and then getting pulled back. Only when you’re back and picked up by your Mum do you realise what you were missing. The hug feels so good. As you grow up you realise that when you were pulled back was because you were going towards dangerous things – the road, the sea, some crazy dog.

I think that is what it is like with God. We want to try new things, we want to explore the world and he pulls us back, and as we grow in him we start to understand why.

The first verse of ‘Let it Go’ is:

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low,
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,
Only know you love her when you let her go.

When everything is going great and life feels like a constant sunny day, then we don’t seem to rely on God as much. We don’t seem to need him as such. It is only when things start going wrong that you realise you have shut him out, that he isn’t there. To be honest, even when you know things are going wrong but there are other ways to go you can often ignore it too.

Take my fresher’s Lent term, I totally rebelled against pretty much everything he stood for. Not intentionally: I was rebounding and then I was trying to forget something. The thing is the only person I really hurt was myself, and the people who were around me. I gave an impression of someone who was totally not me. When I went to church that Easter I couldn’t sing, it just didn’t feel right. I hadn’t even realised but I had taken that baby reign and thrown it out. I was a child running right into that fast traffic and not realising. When I look back now and I realise how much easier that time would have been with God. Yes he can disapprove of some things but he is also great.

I think that I could write forever on how great it is to find your way back, how great it is to have God again, but that isn’t really the point. The thing is that yes that time I went running off, but other times we wander. I wander pretty much every day. Whether it is not helping the homeless man on the street, getting stressy at the person in front of me in the Sainsburys queue or saying something I shouldn’t have, I am challenging God. I am challenging him when I look in the mirror for too long, when I think how cute the guy in front of me is, or I spend time procrastinating on Facebook. All these things are wanders but they are just easier to come back from. Which is good because the feeling when I couldn’t sing that day was the worst feeling I have ever had, and not one I would ever want to repeat.

And if you are still wondering why to bother coming back – take this verse of ‘Staring at the Stars’:

“And all our girlfriends are long gone
We watch too much internet porn
Who needs love
When you've got silicone and strap ons”

I never want to be the person watching the imitation, or accepting the fake love out there, I want the real thing. However many times I wander off and have to find my way back. Loves and hugs xx