How the trickle became the waterfall..

This is a testimony of the past two weeks (with a little bit before thrown in) and is basically a rewriting of the one below. But I prefer it and it is what I felt like writing tonight so hey:

Before an amazing guy called Mike took me to his church I would have said I was good with God. I loved him, he loved me. Simples. But now I realise that was a trickle – what I have now is a waterfall.  

I loved ‘God the Father’, he has protected me since before I was born. I don’t honestly think I would be standing here today without him. I loved ‘God the Holy Spirit’, he was the fire inside of me. He sent me on a mission to protect the people I love. To live to help other people. To be the best I could possibly be. But in the last few years I had started to hate ‘Jesus the Son’ and I didn’t even realise. In teaching me to forgive, he had become burdened with so much physical and mental pain that I hated him. This was pain that wasn’t his to bare. It was ‘that’ man, or ‘that’ boys pain, not Jesus’. Not the man who had died on a cross to forgive my sins. It was completely ridiculous for me to hate him but I did. I hated him to the point I screamed to the sky on our Weekend Away, but he just replied with one thing: love.  

From that moment he gave up whispering and started shouting. He gave me instructions so loud they could not be ignored. He answered my prayers for others. He forced me on to my knees with no option of standing. He performed miracles in my life. He provided me with the most amazing friends in Christ. He provided me with amazing friends in Christ who text for advice, prayer or a catch up every day. He let me speak in (baby) tongues. He made his words come alive. He has just set my world on fire.

Before God was carrying me, he was protecting me as I tried to protect the people around me. He was my guardian. But now I am free. Now instead of carrying me, he is holding my hand. Holding my hand as I walk with him, wherever that might be.

God is not just my father any more, he is my best friend. He is the constant dialogue in my head: whether it is advice, begging (on my part) or just nattering about the weather, it doesn’t stop and I love it. He is the one who will give me a hug when the day has been hard. He is the man I dance around the house with when the day has been good. He is the one who has me laughing down the street or walking around with a scary smile on my face. Jesus the Man was what was missing in my life, and I didn’t even realise. Thanks be to God. 

Trying to improve.

Colossians 3 (5-12)

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew,circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

This is my challenge at the moment. I live in a world where as much as I try to help others and be a good person, I still sin. I can sin so easily when I walk past a shop, meet up with friends or go out clubbing. Despite this I don't want to stop doing these things as if I stop doing these things how can I be close to people, how can I show them how God has made me? 

This blog is going to be about how I am trying to combine living as a student with being a Christian. The challenges, the feelings and the hopes that I have. I know that God has the right plan for me. If I am angry then I can do things that hurt the people around me. If I lust after people then I can hurt myself and make mistakes involving sexual immorality. So I pray to God to help me and to help me to improve myself, to be better for him.