How the trickle became the waterfall..

This is a testimony of the past two weeks (with a little bit before thrown in) and is basically a rewriting of the one below. But I prefer it and it is what I felt like writing tonight so hey:

Before an amazing guy called Mike took me to his church I would have said I was good with God. I loved him, he loved me. Simples. But now I realise that was a trickle – what I have now is a waterfall.  

I loved ‘God the Father’, he has protected me since before I was born. I don’t honestly think I would be standing here today without him. I loved ‘God the Holy Spirit’, he was the fire inside of me. He sent me on a mission to protect the people I love. To live to help other people. To be the best I could possibly be. But in the last few years I had started to hate ‘Jesus the Son’ and I didn’t even realise. In teaching me to forgive, he had become burdened with so much physical and mental pain that I hated him. This was pain that wasn’t his to bare. It was ‘that’ man, or ‘that’ boys pain, not Jesus’. Not the man who had died on a cross to forgive my sins. It was completely ridiculous for me to hate him but I did. I hated him to the point I screamed to the sky on our Weekend Away, but he just replied with one thing: love.  

From that moment he gave up whispering and started shouting. He gave me instructions so loud they could not be ignored. He answered my prayers for others. He forced me on to my knees with no option of standing. He performed miracles in my life. He provided me with the most amazing friends in Christ. He provided me with amazing friends in Christ who text for advice, prayer or a catch up every day. He let me speak in (baby) tongues. He made his words come alive. He has just set my world on fire.

Before God was carrying me, he was protecting me as I tried to protect the people around me. He was my guardian. But now I am free. Now instead of carrying me, he is holding my hand. Holding my hand as I walk with him, wherever that might be.

God is not just my father any more, he is my best friend. He is the constant dialogue in my head: whether it is advice, begging (on my part) or just nattering about the weather, it doesn’t stop and I love it. He is the one who will give me a hug when the day has been hard. He is the man I dance around the house with when the day has been good. He is the one who has me laughing down the street or walking around with a scary smile on my face. Jesus the Man was what was missing in my life, and I didn’t even realise. Thanks be to God.